Unidentified Coastal Organism
It’s June 2010.
“The end of history involves, then, an ‘epilogue’ in which human negativity is preserved as a ‘remnant’ in the form of eroticism, laughter, joy in the face of death. In the uncertain light of this epilogue, the wise man, sovereign and self-conscious, sees not animal heads passing again before his eyes but rather the acephalous figures of the hommes farouchement religieux, ‘lovers,’ or ‘sorcerer’s apprentices.’ ”
– Giorgio Agamben, The Open: Man and Animal, (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2004), 7.
“When he saw me thus launched on yet another enraptured description of what I had observed, he looked at me with desperately sad eyes and said in obvious despair: ‘But Selye try to realize what you are doing before it is too late! You have now decided to spend your entire life studying the pharmacology of dirt.’ ”
– (Hans Selye, The Stress of Life, 1956)
There has been quiet lately. We still miss our little dog so much it seems impossible to think of rattling on without her being present. Every day, Astra and I look for hours at the place where the girls slept in the sun, and the minutes drag as the light moves across that patch. Astra misses having her own personal guide dog far more than I had expected. We will all always miss Quee. This photo is one of the last I have of the girls taking their habitual nap together. They both looked melancholy in advance. 
There hasn’t been any posting for a while, nor the promised Live Dog Cam, for a couple reasons. First Astra was very sick…she had to have 17 of her teeth pulled (her exploits chronicled here
). Then Queequeg, not to be outdone, began experiencing the kidney failure that commonly, critically becomes an issue for dogs of her age.
Queequeg is at Coral Gables Animal Hospital tonight, on an IV. It is hard to know what to do. I swore I wouldn’t subject her to the horrible indignities Moshe had to go through before she died…and that’s the consideration; they are old, and they die anyway. I hope I can keep my promise to her, but it’s so hard to accept the tough little dog … not being around. It’s not like with Astra; Astra just doesn’t care, and she wants to live, dignity or none. Queequeg has quite the opposite personality. She would sign a DNR if she could.
I guess we will all try to sleep and see what tomorrow brings.
Yesterday was Astra’s fifteenth birthday, and I am happy now we spent it quietly, with just a little bit of celebrating, a few treats and lots of hugs and napping.
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